maelstrom

i think my mentality is heavily reflected in my playing style. i am so damn-ed reluctant to make the first attack. i built up my assault troops but i dont use them. i build up more and more until i am attacked first and i screw up since often, assault troops arent really very defensive. darn. thats why i'm the lousier player at times. but ohboy, when i reach tier 4, teehee. just like today.
more confindence please. only then can you best the foul enemies of the Emperor.

yay! got travis! haha. they rock. like seriously. especially this one.

Writing to Reach You

Every day I wake up and it's Sunday
Whatever's in my eye won't go away
The radio is playing all the usual
What's a Wonderwall anyway
Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
Cause I'm writing to reach you now but
I might never reach you
Only want to teach you
About you
But that's not you
It's good to know that you are home for Christmas
It's good to know that you are doing well
It's good to know that you all know I'm hurting
It's good to know I'm feeling not so well
Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
Cause I'm writing to reach you now but
I might never reach you
Only want to teach you
About you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
But that won't do
Maybe then tomorrow will be Monday
And whatever's in my eye should go away
But the radio is playing all the usual
And what's a Wonderwall anyway
Because my inside is outside
My right side's on the left side
Cause I'm writing to reach you now but
I might never reach you
Only want to teach you
About you
But that's not you
Do you know it's true
But that won't do
And you know it's you
I'm talking to

its got a damn sweet chorus. lalala.

flicker?

it seems that i'm rather fickle minded. while i have an undying attraction towards r***n, it seems that a particular eldar farseer has recently entered my mind. what follows appears to be the buildup for an exciting and climatic finish. loll. i mean can youth and awesome psychic powers hope to overcome wisdom and amazing telekenetic powers? i hazard a guess. but i did draw a much better picture of r***n than of the farseer (which looks abit demented. haiz.). haha.

i got a note yesterday that reminded me of how advantageous my current position is. haha. everything is just laid out for me. act or just hold back and see what happens. haha. but will i cower away in fear and shame? nevar! hahahaha. search and destroy!

I: eh. you know A, i dont really like her anymore.
me: AH ISSIT ARH?!

i cant help but wonder. i dont really use some of those phrases alot? but i do know the proper usage. hehe.
err. nvm.

hah. Chaplain TheVarnus, dispatcher of 1300 orks? hah. Commander Azrael obliterated 2500 orks! haha. beat that scum! but today was horrendous. utterly horrendous. won 1 out of hundreddd. it seems i am a better Brother Grand Master than i am a Farseer or a retarded Chaos lord. yes vivek. chaos damn good and cool arh. cant even beat a whole band of howling eldar banshees. hah. khorne's finest smashed up by a bunch of girls with tiny swords. pfft.
yea. so ends this completely incoherent post.

i see it with my own eyes. the things going on.

farseer

On the thirteenth day of Secundus, the bombardment begins. From Orbit the Warmaster's ships lay down an unrelenting barrage of missiles and deadly energy beams. Horus' aim is to cripple the defences around the Emperor's Palace and make possible a massive invasion of the Earth. Striking from Mars the traitor ships have destroyed the lunar bases, smashed Terra's orbiting defences and scattered the protecting loyal fleets.

Horus attack is a call to arms to all of his followers and on countless worlds across the Galaxy forces loyal to the Warmaster rise up and attack those still sworn to the Emperor. The Emperor's realm is in turmoil and some of the greatest battles humanity has ever known are being fought. The Imperium is bathed in flames as the bitter civil war envelopes the stars but it is on Earth, Holy Terra, that the fate of the Galaxy and of Humanity will be decided.

The skies of Earth are black with dust and ash thrown up by the barrage. The land is split with gigantic fissures and the tectonic plates groan with stress. Mountain chains shiver and seas evaporate to become barren deserts. Rains of blood and ash drip from the darkening sky. Astropathic choirs sing of evil portents and men go mad with fear. The fleet of Horus hangs in orbit over the ravaged world. Shielded by the cunningly wrought defences of the tech-priests the pitiful few defenders of Terra stand ready to repel the invaders.

erm. got alot of work done. even with the excessivle amount of time wasted. some people should understand how much time these needless things are drawing away from my valuable promo prep. still, it would be more bearable if you do not constantly bug me about not doing my work. haiz. and again i implore you, beg you, stop mentioning him.

and i still think i'm utterly and hopelessly useless. i pray the wise farseer would grant me some expert advice and foresight. but first. she must listen to me. haiz. haha. nvm.

ela-ashbel.

i feel utterly and hopelessly useless. for those people who may have the vaguest idea as to why, i bet at least a few of you are gloating at how whatever it is i want to happen will probably never happen and you'll be planning to rub it in.

geez. its just one of those days.


ela-ashbel. haiz.

azrael.

From the fires and ruins of the cataclysmic battle between fell beings, a lone one lay struck in the heart. Bleeding away the sacred life force granted to him by the deus encarmine, he was in the void between the living and the dead. But he was not overlooked. He emerged, reborn and revived, his vitae surging through his body as he overcame the black rage induced by the darker powers. His utter hate was dispelled and his wounds healed with the infinite tenderness of his liege lord. He emerged, but not as his old self. He was, the Lord of Death.

I think I'm in love. I just wish it were possible to somehow take her out of my pretty book and make her real.

me: heyhey. Make me a potion to make her real. I'll give you anything. I'll even give you my soul.
a: I don't want your soul.
me: okay, maybe someone else's?
a: how about your math marks?

err. Not as though I aced the test though. I did all right. Enough to pass I hope. But anyway, man. Wouldn't it be great. I'd just sit with her and stone all day and we wouldn't even need to say anything. I'd tell her how cute the jewel on her forehead is. And maybe tell her how pretty her eyes are. Or even tell her how cool her costume it. teehee. See? this is what happens. you start fantasizing.

but sorry ihtimam. i disturbed your study. But it did look weird to see you studying under block b (or a? I don't know).haha. and I had to tell somebody after I wasn't noticed by a particular sentient being on the way out of school and I decided to leave it at that so as to avoid strange looks and stares.

But I am being shadowed. He is always lurking, preparing to strike just when I am at my weakest. The one who awoke from the ruins. Its scary. He will not overcome me again. the black rage builds. the seeds of corruption shall not be planted. I will make sure of it.

thanks lots btw. you've done more for me than anyone else combined! (:

spineless.

The Leech

Leeches are annelids comprising the subclass Hirudinea. There are freshwater, terrestrial and marine leeches. Like their near relatives, the Oligochaeta, they share the presence of a clitellum. Like earthworms, leeches are hermaphrodites. The medicinal leech, Hirudo medicinalis, which is native to Europe, and its congeners have been used for clinical bloodletting for thousands of years.

All leech species are carnivorous. Some are predatory, feeding on a variety of invertebrates such as worms, snails, insect larvae, crustaceans, while a very few are haemophagic parasitic blood-sucking leeches, feeding on the blood of vertebrates such as amphibians (frogs, reptiles, etc.), waterfowl, fish, and mammals (including humans). The most important predators on leeches are fish, aquatic insects, crayfish and other leeches specialized for predation on leeches.

Haemophagic leeches attach to their hosts and remain there until they become full, at which point they fall off to digest. Leeches' bodies are composed of 34 segments. They all have an anterior (oral) sucker formed from the last six segments of their body, which is used to connect to a host for feeding, and are known to release an anaesthetic to remain unnoticed by the host. They use a combination of mucus and suction (caused by concentric muscles in those six segments) to stay attached and secrete an anti-clotting enzyme into the host's blood stream.
i feel so spineless
Some species of leech will nurture their young, providing food, transport, and protection, which is unusual behavior in an invertebrate

las.

erm. yea. first i update. then when i come back the next day, tagboard suddenly seems so full. haha. but despite whatever happened, farewell thingy was allright. it could've been worse. i mean i couldve ended up sitting next to ahem and died in thier food fight thing as an innocent onlooker. whee. oh. and i was joking justin. haha. but the look on your face did look sneaky though. haha.

but heyy. how can i really hate kaswin? i just want to kill him, cut him up into tiny little pieces, scatter him all over singapore and then after that, we can be friends! yay. no hard feelings. hee.

but fort canning is so bloody nice at nice. realised it on friday after i left. i sorta walked through it for no apparent reason. didnt really notice it before when i was there. but when i was alone, yea, i just realised. haha. but it was quite spooky. i meant that is if you let your imagination run wild. i visited the haunted house me and ihtimam discovered during ballet under the stars. and i must say, without all the people, activity and the lights, it really did look like one, although it was just a few interconnected marble shelters. rather small. but emperor protects. i battled through the twisted dark paths of the park and emerged somewhere near city hall mrt unscathed. needless to say, i got home pretty late.

yea. but today was damn disgraceful. me and ashvin logged on to play warhammer 40k. we couldnt win a single game. for the last one we did put up a hell of a fight. it was like this map with a wall in the centre and there was only one narrow breach. to destroy the enemy base, we had to enter the breach, cross over and destroy. it is a damn bloodbath. meatgrinder. check out the corpses. and that isnt a quarter of it.

kharn.

ohwell. farewell j2s! its been fun meeting you and getting to know you all at archery. good luck for your As and whatever else you all are going to do. (: err. yea. but evill was in the air. though he probably did not mean for any of it all to happen, Kapitan did screw up my day.
1) he kop whatever money i had at the start of the day claiming it was for safra fees, leaving me with six lousy dollars (i lent a friend two of those six leaving me with four. nice.). i swear i've been ripped off. $30? now i must use my emperor blessed arrows (and blanket of concentration) and win a trophy/medal in order to make it worth it.

2) A: i dont think i'll eat much today
K: WHY?!?!?!
A: because; -whisper something into his ear-
K: oh shit. i completely forgot.

some time later after h3 chem ended very early.
K: What! I thought you wont finish so soon so i sent of # and %
A: Oh. okay. who you cabbing with.
K: My cab is full. i taking with j2s!
A: okaes. i take mrt.
K: eh you making me feel very sad.
A: nevermind larh. i'll go alone larh.

ohwell. it wasnt very bad. i got off at somerset and walked to dhoby gaut, walking down memory lane and taking 50++ pictures on my hp. i even went to red cross hq and snapped some pics. haha. i bet people think i super strange. and i walked through istana park! and its very nice. pity the istana is opposite the park and i too lazy to cross over. if not i go take picture with the gaurds outside. i wearing school u so shouldnt look too suspicious or anything. haha.

3) i tell you sitting in the nether regions of the long table is not fun. especially with you know who. but atleast with kaswin around its not so bad. but then, he suddenly ask me to take his bag and put it on some chair in the middle of e table in front of ken.

A: eh! you abandon me!
K: you know, i am captain so i must be in the middle of everything.
A: look who i'm sitting with!
K: oh, haha. sorry.
A: i hate you.
K: but i _ you.

rigght. so there i was at the farthest reaches of the table, i decide to order just black coffee. and justin gives me that look. i swear he was making some obscene implication which i dare not imagine even in my dreams. bleah. seriously. then hamsie come and pester me about things again.

ahh. then, the matter of my seating position reached annalyn and even ken. and guess where i sit in the end? next to koach ken. woo.

4) K: eh. show them you drawings lah. -looks to ken- he draws h*****

what followed was a few insane minutes of mental destruction by ken and i eventually gave in. ken and kim then scrutinized every drawing in my precious notebook. after that, annalyn insisted she wanted to see.

A: i hate you.
K: but i _ you.

again. yea. after a lot of prize giving and cake cutting i eventually saw no reason to be there anymore. so i left and went on to fight my own battles elsewhere. thank you. hee.

watch.

ahh. feel quite sick today. sick enough to make my mum forbid me from going to train today. gahh. maybe i'll go on saturday. i have to go already. kaswin like told me he signed me up. whee. so now there is no turning back unless if i want to end up being a g -ahem- g -ahem- y -ahem-. did i say anything? nvm.
and i was finally persuaded to wear my watch to school. haha. i sorta bought it last year when my old one spoilt. but i just didnt use it. dono why. but i got used to the no watch feeling on my arm. now it just feels weighed down.

and before i forget. when i actually give advice, the whole word (or maybe to whom it may concern, should just stop and listen) i mean, like how often is it that i do that? haha. maybe its because people dont really take me too seriously enough and thats mostly my fault. hee. but ohwell. i'm at it again. i dono if this person deserves it after what he has done to me for the whole year. we'll see if he responds positively. whee.

national day.

well. its the 9th of august. and its Singapore's 41st birthday. i probably wouldnt have cared much a few years ago. but hey, things change. i guess it changed the most two years ago in the 2004 parade when i was in the middle of it (in rc uniform). i can remember every little detail. from the scout puking to the colours getting tangled up to reporting to the sick bay and getting checked up by all the army medic mans. above all, it was sort of a life changing experience. not so dramatic but somewhat milder. haha. until then, i never really knew what the whole thing was all about. during the six month follow up, everything changed.

it seemed my whole life revolved around it and i wanted to do everything i could to make my bit as best as i could. i still remember how happy i was when i got selected to be in the contingent. i was like so happy-happy-man i couldnt stop myself from going to the swing the school and just go as high as i could. woo.
subsequent weeks were all super long. there was a day when we were trapped in the indoor stadium for hours until 12 midnight when the army guys finally secured a bus for us to leave.

all that finally payed off. i finally understood. and not to mention, it was probably on of those prodest moments of my life, singing the national anthem in the parade ground with the helicopter carrying the giant singapore flag. very beautiful. ooh. i remember conjuring up impossible scenarios with a particular person in the same contingent (nothing sick).
hehe. i'm sure there was at least one other guy doing the same. ahh. and i wish more people would take today more seriously. they can start showing that by hanging the singapore flag at their homes. i mean, it may not be much, but it looks so cool whenever you turn around and you see so many flags everywhere. and its pretty symbolic.

this is my block. at least part of it. so cool. the whole column is full of flags. and there are more at the other parts (i think my block got damn lot of flags. haha.)
anyways, happy national day! and no matter what other people think, Singapore is a great place and i think i am so lucky to have spent my entire life here. (:

dehydration synthesis.

yea. i dont know. but right now i am feeling really demoralized. i hope i wont be wasting my money on safra indoor. i mean, considering i have less than two weeks left. and my shooting yesterday was pretty crappy. and i cant even shoot consistently for more than a few ends. things look very bleak. i mean, njc was different. for some reason before the comp, i was shooting pretty well for my standards. then actual day screw up the second round. this time, before comp training screw up, who knows what will happen during the day itself. its quite a scary possibility. like seriously. gahh. dono. maybe i'll train on thursday. asess the situation. but like ongnardo said, its a chicken and an egg scenario. nvm. hope i wont end up wasting my time and money.

erm. finally finished watching advent children after the national day celebrations at a-78. vincent valentine is how cool man. like seriously. he's got the style and the skill. woo.

and some unknown people have been tagging for the past few days. please make yourselves known. i'm like dying to know who you all are. haha.

the return.

she is back. and boy is she more buffed up than ever. haha. i barely got to try out some of her new features. woo. but safe to say, i'm really happy. haha. i promise to take care of her better than the one before. haha. I'm in the club. haha. needless to say, i need to start farming all the contacts i lost. but hey, with a few friends, its not very hard. just check thier phone books. haha.
nvm.
i'm going hysterical after a busy day. wonder if the peeps at og outing noticed that i didnt go lavender with them. really couldnt go. some more they changed to today from national day holiday. o_O ahh. but i shall write joanne a card. after all, she is leaving forever.

and i think i've gotten myself a new idol. somebody i can relate myself to (maybe i tiny bit). but i think explaining that is a little hard so i guess i'll just put a few scans of him from the hellsing manga. speaking of which, new ova episodes willbe out this month (i dont know how many times i've mentioned this already). anyway,
meet Captain Hans Gunsche.

he is a silent, stoic adjutant and not to mention, a bloody nazi german(of course i dont aspire to be a nazi). but he is a lycanthrope. roar. and has super regeneration abilities, agility and strenght to say the least.

he is a man of few words. he is dubbed the listener. but when needed, he is fiersome enemy. i wanted to post some more scans of him from the comic. but i'm quite lazy to do that. maybe tomorrow. haha.

watched.

i miss her. i really do. its only been two days since she refused to do anything with me. i hardly even look at her anymore. we had such good times. what a waste. two years all went down the drain. through her i met so many new people. through her i saw the world in a different light. through her, i had so much fun playing games and keeping me company when i was alone. i remember her letting me listen to my favourite songs. she was the light in places of darkness. and whenever i needed her, she was there.
things are so much different now. thanks to her, i cant even communicate with many of my friends. i dont have anything to do while going home. i only have a miserable pinkish purple piece of junk.
i miss my phone.
12 and you seriously have a wild imagination.

the listener.

who listens to the listener?
it sucks when someone so close to you has forgotten to listen. not hear you speak but feel what is wrong with you. it hurts even more when they even stop hearing you speak.
always silent.
never speaking.
forever listening.
please let it end.

"the sharpshooter"

"That is an amazing talent first lieutenant. Those "Magic Bullets.." It is as if you are the Hunter of Legend.
It is as if it truly were magic. "The Sharpshooter" huh? Der Freishutz by Weber.
However, you should keep it a sercret first lieutenant. At the end of the opera, Kaspar, who tried to fool the Devil of the hunt, Samiel.
Do you know how "The Sharpshooter," ends first lieutenant?
'If thou wouldst dress the dead and play amongst them, thou shalt join their ranks.'
He is taken to Hell by Samiel and his body is thrown down into a ravine.
Be warned first lieutenant.
Samiel.
Will appear before you as well."

roads.

"soldiers on the road,
are marching hand in hand,
in order to wage war against enemies from afar.
they continue to march,
only to die,
caught within these crazy times.
who knows what the enemies feel,
deep down in thier hearts.
when you're in total darkness,
nothing is visible.
they stand tall on the windblown plains,
counting the number of corpses.
In a plaza the soldiers are dancing in a circle,
but they're running out of time,
in order for them to successful in thier escape.
In order for them,
to prolong thier lives.
Far from the clock tower at the far corner of the world,
rotting shadows,
are strewn throughout the blood reddened fields.
arms, arms, arms linked together.
they're laughing.
soldiers on the road,
are marching hand in hand,
in order to wage war against enemies from afar.
they continue to march,
only to die,
caught within these crazy times.
And they march on,
and on, and on."